JoCo Cruise Against Hodgman 3: Revenge of the Hodgman
We are excited to announce that we will be back to finish the trilogy. We are continuing in the tradition set by JoCo Cruise Against Hodgman and JoCo Cruise Against Hodgman 2: Cruise Harder, and will be creating a deck of cards for JoCo Cruise 2016!
What's this about decks?
The deck contains 54 white cards and 18 black cards for a total of 72 cards of awesomeness! Once again, they were printed on high quality 310gsm linen cards and are 63mm x 88mm, to better match the official Cards Against Humanity deck..
Thank you!
Big thanks to Perry Zombolas for the awesome artwork that will be featured in this year's deck.
Thanks to John Scalzi for letting us use his pictures of his Scamperbeasts in our deck. If you don't already know about him, check out his work!
Thanks to everyone who submitted ideas, especially:
- Holly Rosintoski
- Simcha Gralla
- Julia Lunetta
- Tom Wells
- Gina Mai Denn
Cards
For those of you interested this is the list of cards that we printed:
-
White
- 4 AM Scotch and mini golf.
- A beard that goes all the way down.
- A sopping wet badge.
- A dinosaur onesie of power.
- A non-Euclidean Sprinkles cone.
- Making the guitars kiss.
- A buttery smooth voice reading The Silmarillion.
- A game with way too many expansions.
- An obscenely long straw.
- Free range rich people.
- Jim Boggia's crowd-pleasing all-night performance.
- Exploding mind kittens.
- Code Monkey on glice.
- A bigger, blacker Hodgman.
- A statue of John Roderick made entirely of Tanzanite.
- An immortal iron fist that last longer than four hours.
- Asking your doctor if Shaking It Off™ is right for you.
- Being a motherfucking Hodgman.
- Drunk or Boat.
- Falling in love with Randy Parcel after hearing him sing.
- Laughing so hard that tears ran down my leg.
- Spending 3 days off the boat without luggage and still looking dapper as FUCK.
- The Dick and Pickle.
- Glerpes
- The inevitable rise of fast zombies.
- An unhealthy appreciation of Bob Ross.
- Faking appendicitis to get away from a boat full of nerds.
- Campaigning for cruise villainy.
- Trying to explain why Kinder Eggs are safe while avoiding deep throat jokes.
- A drunken water bender.
- A hair'em of Beardalos.
- The Future Ninjas for Christ.
- A lawyer who tapes back his junk to play in an all-girl rock band.
- Winning a game of Theremin Hero by having a seizure.
- All-you-can-eat soft serve.
- Boarding in Voldeport.
- Confusing flatulence and fellatio.
- Bathing your celebrity crush in the booze-soaked emesis of a drunken squee.
- Making music just by flailing your hands.
- A feels trip with a bunch of nerds.
- A regret-filled night with Yay Monkey.
- A sharp G string.
- Moist Twarts.
- SeaMonkey Cuddle Puddle.
- A mustache where you least expect it.
- The secret menu of the servant class on your boat of Imperialism.
- Rocking so hard that your ukulele breaks.
- Midnight pizza.
- My unrequited desire for Sprinkles.
- Seated Pelvic Thrusting.
- Creepy Doll's Eyes.
- Hodgman's Cruze.
- Meow.
- A really nice trash can.
-
Black
- The true villain of the cruise is ________________.
- What is the evolutionary advantage of ________________? Clearly, it's ________________.
- Mystery Brewing’s next cruise beer: notes of ________________, an aroma of ________________, and a slight finish of ______________.
- This year the merch store had a JoCo-branded edition of ________________.
- Until the cruise, I didn't realize so many people shared my passion for ________________.
- I brought the gaming session to a screeching halt by referencing ________________.
- I opted for _________________ instead of the cheese plate.
- Using only _________________ and _____________, Hodgman was able to fight his way back onto the boat.
- Why was I unable to make it back to the boat in time?
- John Scalzi called Neil Gaiman to confirm the incident with ____________.
- The underlying subtext of all of JoCo's songs is _________________ dealing with ________________.
- Hot tub office hours were great until ________________; then it got weird.
- It is too bad the drink pass doesn't cover ___________.
- No one expected the nerd boat to run out of ___________.
- Patrick Rothfuss failed to convince me that __________ is really a fish.
- When I am an honored guest, I hope they introduce me as "the spouse of _____________."
- You remembered to bring 25 Batman t-shirts but forgot to bring __________?!
- David Rees' latest episode: Going Deep on ________________.
The cards are copyright Hyper Entertainment -
The JoCo Cruise Against Hodgman decks are in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Cards Against Humanity, Jonathan Coulton, John Hodgman, Apples to Apples, or any of the people mentioned on the cards.
Cards Against Humanity is a trademark of Cards Against Humanity LLC.
Apples to Apples is a registered trademark of Mattel, Inc.